Coronovirus Log: Day 2
By Laura Behrens
5:39 AM. Ever get that creepy feeling someone is watching you? At 5:39 I rolled over and was immediately gassed from the 8 year old boys breath. “Mom, Dude Perfect has a video game, can I play it””. Beginning to realize this free for all in screen time has gone too far… and its just day 2. Thanks #dudeperfect
6:10 AM. The 18 mos old decides to wake me again with the sweet sweet sound of pushing a #2 out as soon as he woke.
7:03. AM. THE GIRLS ARE UP. The cries again of hunger are echoing off every wall of the homestead. Fortunately I was able to ascertain rations yesterday of bread and eggs. 1 scrabbled, 1 fried, 1 white omelet (don”t you dare let a dash of that yellow get in), 2 eggs in the hole… round 1 complete. Sweet Jesus our kids are high maintenance fatties!!
7:59 AM. The play-dough is out. Kim and I start planning how on earth we will attempt to home school
8:46 AM. Home school plan as good as its getting.
9:15 AM. Kim puts child #2 on the computer to complete their first assignment.
9:47 AM. Said second child fails a test… on Volleyball!!! What?!??!?!
10:01 AM. First child is to read.
10:02 AM. First child is bored and stops reading.
10:03 AM. First child is sent to the principals office (me).
10:05 AM. First child is expelled. We tried.
10:30 AM. 3rd & 4th child are sat down to be schooled. To our shock 3rd child very engaged!!! Not to our shock 4th child….. where’s 4th child? What do you mean he is riding his bike. PE….check!! Look at us for the win!
11:26 AM. All kids doing a science lesson. The faster you put the boxes on the fire, the bigger the flame gets!! Also, if you put in an empty 2 liter bottle with the cap on, there may or may not be a small explosion. Science… check!!
12:32 PM. LUNCHTIME.
1:16 PM. 4th child’s time to read.
1:16 and 34 seconds PM. 4th child is gone again.
1:17 PM. catch 4th child trying to do more PE. NOPE!!
1:18 PM. bring 4th child back inside
1:19 PM. send 4th child to principals office for excessive whining.
1:20 PM. 4th child expelled.
2:39 PM. 2nd child looked AND smiled at 3rd child. 1st child accuses 4th child of cheating (pretty sure it’s true), 3rd child begins to cry, 4th child goes to PE even though he is expelled, 1st child self-quarantines in her room (after loudly shutting her door… I’m sure it was an accident), 2nd child wants a snack.
3:16 PM. Have I mentioned I am not sure our rations will last.
4:12 PM. IT’S QUIET. Too quiet. There is play-dough on the wall. I repeat, play-dough on the wall.
4:50 PM. The natives asked to go play with the neighbor. I find myself saying things I’ve never said before “don’t hug the neighbor”, “just talk over the fence”, don’t you dare touch the neighbor”.
5:12 PM. It seems as though the natives are growing hungry yet again. I try to put them off…. nope. Not going for it. Dinner begins.
7:12 PM. Sorry it has been a few hours since my last log, but I was afraid to move as all of the native children gathered for a movie and did not have any problems. Had I made one small move, we all know the story may have been totally different.
7:30 PM. BEDTIME. WE MADE IT. No one died. No one broke anything or bled.
Today was a good day.
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