Coronavirus Log: Day 3
By Laura Behrens
8:01 AM. I woke in a panic. I knew it was later than I should have slept, but could not figure out how I was not woken up by someone in the tribe! I went downstairs…. OMG!!! WHERE ARE MY KIDS AND WHO WERE THESE QUIET ONES! I knew someone had broken in and replaced my children!!! Wait….. nope….
8:02 AM. 4th child chasing 3rd child because his tablet died and felt as though 3rd child owed him her tablet. Yup, these are my kids.
8:19. AM. The death match was resolved and everyone was of course hungry. 25 laps can build up that appetite.
9:45 AM. CLASS IS IN SESSION!!! 1st child sneezes…. I have NEVER seen the other 3 move so fast!! Almost all of them, at the same time… “Coronovirus”….. 2nd child jumps in shower, 3rd child grans sanitizer and locks herself in her room, and 4th child, well he didn’t move much. CLASS DISMISSED.
9:52 AM. We were able to calm the panicked state of the kids. CLASS BACK IN SESSION. Chrome books out and they are off. Let the questions begin. “Mom, whats 843 minus 400”, I don’t know, figure it out. “Alexa, whats 843 minus 400″… wait… WHAT?!?! Proceed to unplug Alexa.
I need to just break protocol for a minute and say that if I hear Mom one more time today…..
10:40 AM. I am not a teacher…. I am not a teacher….. OMG….. this is…. I resign. I am not cut out for 4,672 questions in a 30 minute time span!!
11:15 AM. Kim informed me one of her teacher friends (you know who you are) informed her that school may be out to the end of the year. I excused myself and cried softly in a corner for 19 min…. in the fetal position.
11:34 AM. Loud crashing noise from the other side of the house brings me back on my feet. I run… wait, not true….I don’t run…. I walked briskly towards the sound. Apparently I had missed the start of the live WWE show occurring in my playroom.
11:43 AM. We have to go out into the world. I have to pick up my new glasses. Turns out I am blind and need bi-focals. Wish us well!!.
11:45 AM to 3:05 PM. Was a blur! Got glasses, went to the local store to pick up a few more rations. Child 3 and I were free!! It was glorious!!!
3:06 PM. Home. Teacher #2 who is not allowed to resign is already into her first glass of wine. School was officially out for the day, so it was ok. However I have a feeling she is trying to get fired.
4:15 PM. Even though we have had 2 meals and 3 snacks throughout the day, the natives are already complaining of hungry tummys. Dinner prep begins.
5:45 PM. I realized 3 of my kids have gotten away with no baths and no showers for 4 days. Is it that I can’t smell them, or I smell myself too much and can’t smell them over my smell? Am I losing my mind and with it all sense of time?!?!? SHOWERS NOW!
6:50 PM. That was amazing! Not only does everyone smell better that took over an hour to accomplish! Mom for the.double win!!
7:30 PM. Kids tucked in and we have 3 hours till the baby wakes up. Quick going to shove food down our throats and go to bed. Who am I kidding!!!! I am going to stay up and watch TV because let’s face it, it’s the only time I get to! I may push the envelope and see if I can stay until til 10!!
Sweet dreams my fellow shut-ins.
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